Get Rid of the Squish

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Bet you thought this was a post about your booty! Nope, it's about that nasty, squishy, soggy zucchini you've been making because you feel bad telling your neighbor, "no mas, por favor, gracias, gracias!" thinking 'at least it's paleo...' as you gag down another squishy bite trying your damnedest to imagine deep-fried goodness and ranch dressing.

For you, I suggest this simple, yet tasty, recipe:

  • 6 medium zukes
  • 2 teaspoons sea salt: Celtic sea salt is best according to the recipe authors; or, Himalayan pink salt is supposed to be good for you, too...supposed to be...
  • 4 tablespoons butter: grass-fed, organic, preferably raw, butter

Pass zukes through the small julienne slicer of your food processor. Mix with sea salt and let stand 1 hour. Rinse with (filtered) water, drain. Squeeze dry with a tea towel (a thin, fiberless towel) or a few paper towels. Let butter melt slowly in a heavy, cast iron skillet, raise heat and sauté zukes for 1 minute, give or take.

Proceed below for a cooking adventure with me...let's trample off the tattered recipe path!

Personal notes:
I think you can cut your zucchini any damn way you please because this julienne stuff is a pain in the rear* (read 'ass' there if you know what I'm sayin' because you, like me, fail to own a food processor). At the end, I added organic, oil-preserved, sundried tomatoes (shhh, Costco has them). Then, I added a raw cheese of some sort from your local, neighborhood 'Trader' (wink, wink); and broiled it on high until the cheese browned. Delish...

The possibilities of zucchini and yellow summer squash are friend suggested slicing the zukes in half and cutting off a bit of the bottom so they don't decide to capsize, scooping out the seeds, and filling the cavities with something remarkable and gooey like (raw) cheese...or a (nitrate-free, grass-fed) hot dog AND cheese! This obviously requires not sautéing the little courgettes (European word for zucchini) but baking them longer in the oven and probably finishing off with a quick broil...experiment, and let me know how it goes!

The point is, letting your zucchini--no matter how you slice it--stand in salt for an hour is key to battling the squish and to lessening your gag reflex.

Also, if you choose to julienne your Danny Zukos, I think they would be amazing snuggled under some homemade spaghetti sauce with lots of sausage (sounds horrible, but yes, I love sausage!...c'mon, who doesn't?...I mean, really).

And, to round out this recipe adventure, I suggest listening to the soundtrack from "Grease"...T-Birds or Pink Ladies leather jackets are optional and make you 110%, literally...don't try cooking while sporting a leather jacket.

Stay 'peachy-keen, jelly beans;' and I'll catch you on the flip side! Have questions, just shoot me an email at

Recipe adapted from Nourishing Traditions: the cookbook that challenges politically correct nutrition and the diet Dictocracts. Sally Fallon, Washington, D. C., NewTrends Publishing, 2001.